With the start of the new school year, parents of autistic children worry about their child feeling lonely or excluded from social life at school. Most autistic children struggle with social skills and even though some of them are keen to make friends, they can find it difficult to communicate and interact with their peers.
With some help and encouragement, you can help your child make meaningful friendships this year and here is how:
Practice basic social skills
To help them overcome their social challenges, you need to constantly practice with them at home.
You can use board games and family activities to teach them how to ask questions, wait for others to answer, explain rules, read facial expressions and take turns. Most friendships are made on the playground and your child’s ability to socialise with their peers is very important.
Explain what friendships mean and what they don’t mean
Many autistic children confuse attention with friendship. Sometimes it can be harmless, like a teacher’s attention which is good but is not due to friendship. Other times this confusion can be harmful, such as confusing bullies for friends.
Your child needs to learn that a healthy friendship is usually with someone in their age group. A friend is someone who likes them, respects them and accepts them as they are. A friend doesn’t say unkind things or hurt them.
Introduce them to new hobbies
Hobbies are a great gateway to making friends. Most autistic children have very specific interests and sometimes they can use them to start conversations with others. But other times, your child’s special interests might be too unusual and that is where you come in.
Introduce your child to new hobbies and activities and do it with them. Maybe start playing a popular video game or take them to music classes. If your child is up to it, teach them a new sport. Playing sports is a great way to learn social and physical skills and make friends.
Arrange playdates and gatherings
This one can be a bit tricky because you need to be careful and start gradually. Arrange playdates with only one or two children at a time and make sure the setting is somewhere your child finds comfortable -like home-.
Plan activities the children can do together and encourage your child to show his friends around the house or talk to them about something he likes like a movie or a game. When your child gets comfortable, you can change the setting to a park with more people.
Focus on quality, not quantity
Your child having one great friend is more than enough. You might be tempted to turn your child into a social butterfly but that probably will not happen and you need to accept it. When your child makes a good friend, teach them the importance of nurturing this relationship instead of looking for others.
Having many friends is nice, but having a few close friends is far better. Still, avoid the child becoming solely dependent emotionally and socially on one child.
Teaching your autistic child the social skills needed to make friends and going through the process of making friendships will involve a lot of trials and errors and that’s okay. Make sure that your child is feeling comfortable at every step of the way. A bit of challenge is good for them as long as you respect their limits.
