According to the NHS, nearly half of children and young people in the UK (46%) have been bullied at school at some point in their lives. Bullying behaviour can be displayed by children as young as 3 years old. Whether it’s in the school playground, in class, or throughout the course of their day, children can come across many kinds of bullying, physical and emotional.
Bullying has no specific definition but it’s generally specified as a repeated behaviour that is done with the intent to hurt someone either physically or emotionally. And the bully themselves are usually someone in power, whether it’s social power or physical power.
Children can face bullying for multiple reasons including but not limited to their race, religion, appearance, disabilities or social class.
Example of bullying from the Anti-Bullying Alliance:
‘’If Rashid and Ava are arguing over a toy. Rashid takes the toy and then Ava grabs it back and vice versa. This is likely to be a relational conflict where they share the balance of power. This doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be challenged, it just isn’t bullying. Take the same example, but this time every time Rashid uses the toy Ava snatches it away. Rashid doesn’t snatch it back but Ava insists on taking it from Rashid each time. This happens over a number of days. In this example, the relational conflict is now bullying. It is repetitive, there seems to be intent in the action, it’s hurtful and the power seems to have shifted because Ava is continuously showing force over Rashid.’’
Usually, boys are more likely to face physical bullying while girls face emotional and psychological bullying but both kinds are extremely harmful and can cause serious trauma and issues for children. That’s why it’s very important to talk to your child about bullying to help them feel safe to come to you if they’re ever bullied and it can open their eyes to the consequences of such harmful behaviour so they never do it to others.
How to talk to your child about bullying?
- Don’t wait until the bullying happens: have a casual conversation with your child on a daily basis. Ask them about their friends and their life at school. Don’t be judgemental and give them a safe space to talk to you about their day. This will help make them feel more comfortable coming to you if they ever face bullying.
- Educate them about bullying: Some children can find it difficult to identify bullying. If they know what bullying is and have enough information about it they can help themselves or ask for help before it gets too severe.
- Encourage them to be confident: Confident children are more likely to stand up for themselves and others. Help them build their confidence by encouraging them to make friends, enrol in new activities and be sure to praise them and be visibly proud of them.
- Encourage your child to be empathetic. Empathy teaches children to express their emotions and understand the emotions of others. A child who is empathetic toward their peers will not want to hurt their feelings and therefore will not bully them or point out hurtful things about them.
- Talk about the ramification of bullying: Bullying has two sides, a victim and a bully. If you think your child might be bullying someone or have friends who are bullies, make sure you talk to them nicely but firmly about the ramifications of bullying and the hurt it causes others not just at the moment of bullying but further into their lives.
- Last but not least, if you think or know that your child is being bullied or is bullying someone, speak to their school. Most bullying happens on school grounds and making the teachers aware of such a thing can help your child. They can keep an eye on them and help make sure they’re safe.
Bullying is a sad reality in our lives. It starts with children but unfortunately doesn’t end there. It’s very important that we have an open conversation about it. Children might feel humiliated or embarrassed to tell their parents they’re being bullied, so parents must be the ones to initiate such conversations. Keep an eye on your child’s online presence as well because cyber bullying is just as bad if not sometimes worse. People can say and do terrible things while bullying each other face-to-face, imagine what they can say when they can’t see your face or how their words affect you.
Be a role model to your child and talk about your own feelings and experiences with them so they feel safe talking to you as well. Bullying might be a sad reality we all have to face at some point but with the right support system, we can overcome its negative results and move forward in our lives.
